i met up with him and passed the t-shirt to him and casually asked if he would wear it. to my surprise, he told me that he cannot tell his wife that he received the t-shirt as a gift, he will lie that he asked his friend to help him buy it.

i was puzzled at his response. it was just a very ordinary t-shirt and to me, its quite normal that your friends travel overseas and buy some souvenirs... his reply was his wife would be paranoid and will ask many questions...

actually i was quite saddened at his reply. he had been married for just three years. i remembered there was once when i asked if he could choose all over again..will he choose to be married or single, his reply was 'single'. he felt tied down, tired of reassuring his insecure wife, controlled as his wife would question all his spendings, poor from paying for the household..etc.

i was saddened at his reply not because he made a decision that he regretted but because i can imagine how his wife feels. i used to be exactly that kind of girl too. i used to question my exes a lot, feel very insecure - actually the more he lies, the more i want to find out and the more irritated he feels and the more he will lie and this slowly became communication breakdown..

and lies are covered by more lies and so..the whole relationship will breakdown.

i dunno if its because of age or because i have seen more and gained more experience in life or i am able to see better from a third person's point of view, i see so much of myself in others and i am glad that i will never behave like that again.

sometimes i feel like sharing my old stories with this friend of mine, but it still hurts a lot to talk about it. its like a dilemma..on one side, i really dun wish to see anything happen to his marriage and on the other side, i dun wish to talk about the past.. 

but i think i probably will share..one day when i am ready.. hopefully it will help.

these are just simple things in life, but once it accumulates, it could change your life forever.