i have never seen my grandfather in real life.

he passed away in his middle age due to heart attack (i think). 

my only memories of him were some vague stories told by my mom whom he doted on dearly - which resulted her having the 'i am princess' syndrome (later on became 'i am empress dowager' syndrome) at an early age. As this is even more prevalent in our society nowadays, it is indeed worrying that there will be even more people with 'i am princess/empress dowager/emperor syndrome'. haiz!

but there was conclusive evidence that he was a traditional teochew man and a strict disciplinarian.

- womanfolk have to stay home look after children and do housework

- cannot talk during mealtimes -> if not u will kena knock on your head 

- woman cannot stay out overnight blah blah...

we do not even have photographs of my grandfather because the family was poor and couldnt afford a camera until the later years. so i only can only envision his height and built from the photo on his tomb which we visit every year during Qing Ming. 

we will visit him every year during the Qing Ming festival where we will bring our favourite food to pay our respects. We usually have a lot of fun as its like a family gathering and we make merry around the tomb. This year we saw a large signage erected in front of the cemetery area - they are exhuming the graves soon by end of this year. my grandfather will be shifting to a temple at old tampines road where my grandmother have bought two places side by side so that they can be together in heaven. 

the exhumation notice

my second aunt entertaining my grandfather by singing teochew oldies for him..

recently, my grandmother has been acting weird and it makes us worried and sad. my grandmother is 93 years old this year. she is also born in the year of the snake (like me) and is 60 years my senior. my grandmother dotes on me as i'm her eldest grandchild. i can always remember how she protects me from my mother's caning and giving in to all my whims when i was young. the cousins love to stay over in the weekends and we will eat instant noodles for supper and listen to all her stories about the sea spirits and the 2nd world war. now, my grandmother's hearing is failing, we often have to shout rather loudly for her to hear us and her health had also deteriorated throughout the years and although she is still active - washing and cooking etc, but it pains us to see her wobble when she gets her regular giddy spells.

few weeks ago, she started to talk about dying. she told us that she will leave us in June to be with my grandfather. she asked my aunt and my mom to prepare her new clothes for her... 

as buddhist, we all know that this is life. Everyone will eventually leave one day. Moreover for my grandmother, she had been all alone since my grandfather left her more than 30 years ago. It must have been lonely and difficult for her - there was no one to share the joys and no one to share the burden. we all know that we are already so fortunate to have her with us for the past 30+ years and we shouldnt be too selfish to insist that she still carry on living with her frail body, doing housework, worrying about us, not able to enjoy holidays anymore due to failing health..etc... but it will be difficult, if that day ever comes.