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Tuesday, June 19, 2007
The Art of Seduction
This post is especially dedicated to my dearest cousin

1. Always talk in a meek voice even if u are damn pissed off. Practise saying ‘why dun u go and eat shit’ or ‘go and die’ in a gentle manner.

2. Practice the ‘tears welled up in your eyes’ look. Be touched at everything he says with tears in your eyes.

3. Be attentive, or at least pretend u are. Pretend to worship every word they say and be generous with your praises like ‘woah, u are so smart’, ‘u are so intelligent’! stroke their ego.

4. Touch him accidentally (not). Pretend to brush against his arm… remember human are sensual creatures! Or touch his arm when u talk to him.

5. Be understanding. (or at least bear with everything until u have got him!) U must always say ‘take your time’, ‘its ok’, ‘never mind’, ‘I understand’, ‘no worries’. Even if very angry also must ren ren ren!

6. If u feel that u are losing your importance – play the MIA game..at your own risk. If u are indeed important, he will be kan cheong and will call u. But if he doesn’t, then its probably time for u to move on la!

7. Always be happy. No one likes to be with moody people. Please dun act cool! It puts people off! Unless u look like Tony Leung or Faye Wong…

8. Read widely. No need to know details, just read the header. Intellectual (or those who can smoke well) women are very attractive.

9. Memorise jokes and no brainer riddles. Funny people get all the attention! Stephen chow gets all the gals!

10. Practise electrocuting people. Look deep into their eyes while talking to them! And imagine sending electric currents over. Just dun electrocute the wrong person! I once know a guy who looks so deep into my eyes that I find it darn intimidating.

How long must u practice the Art of Seduction?
Depending on your objective la!
It can be until u have got your hands on all the LVs, Guccis, Pradas.. or u have traveled all over the world, or until he has married u! ha ha ha!


posted @ 4:03 PM